Rachael and Guy's Celebrity Cook-Off

Rachael and Guy's Celebrity Cook-Off

The finale!

Last night was the finale of Rachael and Guy’s Celebrity Cook-off. Thank god, the two hosts look dog-tired and bored with celebrities who cook fried rice and grilled cheese sandwiches and call it haute cuisine.

*Spoiler alert!* The final two come down to the two most serious competitors throughout the season: Coolio, whose spazzy catchphrases and soul food standards have brought him to the end, and Lou Diamond Phillips, whose intensity, verbosity without saying much of anything and culinary chops have made him seem like the ultimate clueless celebrity. It’s a good pairing.

Rachael and Guy announced that the two must create fine dining pop restaurants with two appetizers, two entrees and two desserts. They will serve forty guests, as well as the Zagats, the founders of world-renowned restaurant rating guidebooks. For a celebrity contest, it does seem pretty ambitious. To help out, Coolio and LDP also have consultations with Rachael and Guy, and three chefs apiece to help them in the kitchen. Coolio also has runner-up Joey Fatone, and LDP has Taylor Dane to serve as their restaurants’ hosts.

Coolio’s décor looks terrible; it’s mostly orange on orange, with terrible orange napkins fanned out in the water glasses. For his appetizer, Coolio makes an avocado stuffed with crab and deep-fried. He also makes cherry-glazed ribs and chicken. For dessert, he recreates his grandmother’s lemon pudding cake and a sweet potato cheesecake with a cherry sauce.

LDP creates a poached pear salad and a crab arancini ball for his appetizers. Next, he serves a chiopino, a Filipino stew, and a marinated skirt steak. For dessert, he creates a German chocolate cake with black forest cherries, and restyles his lemon tart from earlier in the season. His restaurant looks much better under Taylor Dane’s styling choices: his restaurant is mostly blue with white accents, and each table is decorated with a bird of paradise flower.

After their meal, the diners were given the task of rating the restaurants. Whichever celebrity had the greatest number of points on the Zagats’ restaurant rating system would take home the $50,000 for his charity of choice. The runner-up will receive $10,000 for his charity.

And the winner: Lou Diamond Phillips! Coolio seems pretty peeved, and Lou Diamond Phillips seems to hope that his next career move will be his very own cooking show on the Food Network. I would watch. The man is crazy sincere.

Were you happy with the outcome of this season?